Retard 1 & 2

Here's a further edited RETARD PENIS, admired by Mankato.

We are getting along with RETARDED BEYOND REDEMPTION where Misti is mopping up memories before Cambodia & I am writing about how I prayed for the life of Trump when he risked head injuries during Leo season. He needs to survive to bring the USA to its fucking knees. It was doomed already, people who believe democrats will save it are totally delusional (Leo style), but Trump's special retardation is bringing the end on a bit faster. The astrologers were right, he was in danger, but goddess fixed that for us. You can thank me later. 

We also mock a guy called Jon Clifton, he's delusional too. Small cock. RETARD PENIS mocks Lil' Abel Romo & his dead kid & grandkid, Ded Debbie Kirk, & three inch Joe Pachinko, dead poet manqué. Hatred is pure & beautiful. Goddess doesn't care who I curse.

Here are the pictures, Mankato approves my vitriol. He hates the "cunt birds", aka frigate birds, that fly here in the Caribbean.  

The Tard Trilogy

Misti Rainwater & I, on account of the surpassing excellence of RETARD PENIS, have decided to add two further volumes, RETARDED BEYOND REDEMPTION, & PARTICIPATION PRIZE, the cover images for both are below. We shall be retarded & piss over our exes, living & dead, especially, so far at least, this Gemini muppet called Jon who had the insolence to email Misti asking if they had a good time. They did not; she couldn't stand him, his penis was small, he was bad at sex, & he's blocked. Misti is also airing skeletons from the family closet. I would too if I knew about any in mine.

SLOBBER & RETARD PENIS

Here Stella rides Mankato to survey the new books that arrived today, & I just paid to have cleared from customs at San Pedro post office, which happens every Friday at ten. RETARD PENIS is on sale at one link & SLOBBER at the other.

I am tempted to post an excerpt where we discuss various exes or almost exes, like my humorous treatment of the dead son & grandson of Lil Abel or the tiny limp dick of dead Joe Pachinko, poet manqué, or maybe Misti's humorous piece about dead Debs, but I post here this following piece, because, let's face facts, fuck Cobain & fuck Pisces, & fuck all mutable signs too... 

Sometimes Misti considers the question of whether Courtney Love had Kurt Cobain whacked for some reason. I don’t really care if she did this so I here put an end to this question forever.

Courtney Love is a Cancer, Cobain was a Pisces. Now, a cardinal sign is entitled to kill a mutable of the same element if anyone is. As an Aries I can whack a Sag any time, & that’s why I avoid them, or one of many reasons.

Somebody has to kill Pisces, believe me, it needs to be done, &, if anyone, Courtney Love was entitled to kill Cobain.

Now we have all three of the poetry books, including SLURP & STUNT COCK, plus RETARD PENIS all waiting to be cleared for global distribution, Misti's novel ZERO BUENO & her art book CHUPACABRA DISCO as well, & even my rewrites of HENRIETTA REMEMBERS plus FLESH & RESURRECTION, my only two novels. I'll post as they appear on Amazon.

Little House on the Squirting Prairie

Yesterday, Misti cried at the episodes in season seven of Little House on The Prairie where Adam might fail the bar exam. During the morning fuck she channeled Mary the blind bitch with "Pa, pa, is that you Pa?" until I was unable to finish, though she squirted copiously. No matter, because today is leg day & tonight I don't care if she channels Pa himself.

Anyway, here's RETARD PENIS.

& here's HENRIETTA REMEMBERS.

 

 

Courtney & Killing Kurt

Recently, in our non-PC collection, RETARD PENIS, I wrote that if anyone is to kill a Pisces, & somebody has to, it should be a Cancer. Now, Cobain was Pisces sun, Cancer moon, Virgo ascendant. He has Mercury & Venus in Pisces, like me, so the songs could be OK, but the sun made him a trashy sub. They both had Cancer moons so they were both, on some level, blubbering whiny bitches. Cobain's NN was Taurus, so he was just going to get heavily invested in eating. Love's NN is Cancer, so she was just going to get heavily invested in crying (which she has actually done) & already mastered being a professional bitch.

Neither of them has anything in Aries or Aquarius so they can both go fuck themselves.

My fiancee, Misti Rainwater, has today done the following YouTube tarot reading where she alleges that Love is going to be a hungry ghost because she is a sea of attachments &, obviously, Cobain would never have been man enough to provide the dickdown she needed. With Venus in Gemini she'd fuck anything anyway, as is empirically confirmed by her ambitious programme of infidelity.

Essentially, I still maintain that grunge is a PR stunt by the flannel industry & nobody cares about some pop singer who died ages ago, after releasing one pretty good album. More importantly, I have a nice shoulder & arm pump & our book is available here & you'd still be a massive cunt not to buy it. We mock a dead child in this book & talk shit about writers, living & dead, as well as laying down the law about astrology because we have a total of 119 years experience as professional astrologers & tarot readers, so go suck it.

 

RETARD PENIS

I think Gertrude Stein would approve of our new project RETARD PENIS. It's supposed to be flash fiction but that's a lit bro thing & I'm too well-endowed for that so I'm doing aphorisms & various observations. I don't deny that Courtney maybe killed Kurt, I'm just saying that if anyone kills a Pisces, & somebody has got to do it, it might as well be a Cancer.  

Anyway, Misti did the cover below. In other news, we are doing tees & sweatshirts & hoodies for Posthuman Poetry & Prose, so we have fucking merch, bitches.  

 

 

SLOBBER, now available

SLOBBER concludes the trilogy by Misti & David Rainwater. It is on Lulu now & will be on Amazon, who can go fuck themselves, later. It is a delightful tome of about 150 pages & at this link. It will hopefully appear on Amazon at some time in the future. 

The poems are very diverse & include a number about local animals & Mayan divinities; tropical diversions; why the USA, Texas in particular, is not relevant; Misti's background & the fall of the West. Inspiration drawn from Bataille, Lyotard, Lacan, Gertrude Stein, Anna Kavan, Artaud, & others. 

Sample by Misti, very short:

if you want to get fucked by my big dick
 
baby you are such a man eating the last freshly baked peanut butter 
chocolate chip cookie no thank you no kiss just some bullshit threat 
you blame it on the gummies and early smiths 

Sample by me:

beast & replete with meaningless

I myself am an absolute abyss.
(Antonin Artaud)

the human is void indecisive last meanings missing their sexual indexical they barely notice wild & desire

i am become beast & replete with meaningless & meat my memory all 
that matters is fire & the divine & to pound my woman out dicked 
down to ground

i am beast & meaningless replete

 

Our next collaboration is a prose work called RETARD PENIS. This will be really fucking sensitive like Bath & Body Works lotion.