Kitten on an aeroplane

Fuck me, I'm about to go to the bus station and catch a Berry's coach to London. Misti Velvet is about to get a ride to San Antonio airport & fly to Houston then on to Heathrow where I shall meet her tomorrow early & we'll spend a couple of days in a hotel before catching the same coach back here. (I'm leaving my toys at home, but I always have the belt if she's naughty.) 

She has waited a decade, I a lustrum. This is good, in fact it's very good. Big King Daddy Saturn, on behalf of Maa, has trained us & broken us to obedience, then rebuilt us, because that's what he does. 

 Not sure about this poem, but it made her all tingly, apparently, so that's good. After 66 and 53 years we shall finally find home. 

  

 

strip

for Kitten, who is flying from SAT tomorrow to live with me, yay!

 

 

 

 

i have always wanted your balls in my mouth but could not find the words

 

you crazy poet fuck going on about tamed possums and your volcel twitter crush
inviting me to visit you in sweden as a friend because you never know until a bitch
approaches you in an airport reeking of walmart body spray how it's going to go
goddamn baby i am dead and this is retard venus in aquarius heaven
last night i was sweating bullets singing you to sleep with amy winehouse karaoke
nothing quite reduces my ice queen corazon to a ridiculous puddle like your beautiful snore
then i wake up to you sharing your misti file with me sufficient evidence that we are both
insane in the membrane purple rain in our veins and we should have married each other
when i was twelve and you were twenty-five because who else could have taught me
how to squirt on myspace in ten minutes or less and assured me there is zero shame
in leaving a piss trail from bed to el bano

this is just to say my sweet big dick darling
i have always (always) wanted your mars in aquarius balls in my sun and venus in aquarius mouth
but my drawl is texan and my pedigree is cracker barrel and algebra eludes me
also...nietzsche which you tell me is not an acceptable left tit tattoo
but somewhere in the darkest dampest recesses of my bitch ass mercury in pisces brain
i always knew no one could delight me annoy me wound me heal me gold star me
daddy dom me intimidate me aggravate me thrill me like you

all these laughs words songs screwdrivers to the heart later
and i am very much that bitch
yours wholly
finally claimed
gold ring burning eternal 
on my finger
as i suck my thumb
and beg
for more
 

WET seX in weSseX

 

 

I.

 

we're ancient as fuck clinking chalices goblets steins whatever in asgard
we are well-regarded by odin dripping sweat blood tears cum all over that
hallowed rainbowed bridge of eternal return saturn teaches we learn and earn
gold stars across our charts from preschool to ascension
all we need now alive as we are is weed vodka water fresh air beast flesh
beast being us beast being all gonna crawl like robert plant toward dada
wearing cat ears and not much else so yeah baby baby be ready for that

 

II.

 

ate karma yes like porridge yes for a hundred or so years yes and this is my
shiny gold reward your piss all over my pale healthy tattoo free tits
i say lady of shalott you say charlotte i say charlotte's web
don't like spiders especially when they talk but i will spin miracle webs
out of words for you forever my co-conspirator in crimes against humanity
my fuck buddy to infinity and beyond the only story i care about is the one
we are writing syllable by syllable sigh by sigh
live by the sword die by the sword even if the sword is neon green and inflatable
purchased with skee-ball tickets because yo soy reina de american mall arcade

 

III.

 

oh for fuck's sake these grapes are consensual and glistening with rainwater
nevermind the gross old couple in the corner squirting and moaning from wessex
to guanajuato haven't you ever been mellow haven't you ever been happy
just to be raped like a catholic schoolgirl to your favorite jane's addiction song
if loving him is wrong in the words of the prettiest mandrell sister
and i paraphrase because i am too lazy to google right now
motherfucker you can take a right and drive your monster hello kitty truck
into the gulf of dystopia
who are you anyway
to be blunt you do not matter at all
because you are not me
and you are not him
and we are night swimming like michael stipe but with much more flavor
here's some piss cum to savor save it for later when the statue of liberty
is broken on some desolate beach and the monkeys are finally teaching scientists
how to fucking live
connect the dots like pee wee
word of the day is yes
second word of the day is please
one easy syllable each
easy enough
to decipher

 

 

always in style

 

dior gucci versace prada bitch who's asking who's keeping score as long as the bruises
are covered i fail to see the big fucking ross dress for less five below t-shirt deal
life is tedious life is terrible life is ugly and brutal and monstrous and out of style
jeans aren't long enough dresses itch fishnets are so failed instagram model circa 2020
was i ever really twelve was i ever really alive at all riding my bicycle to sikes center
scaring the other little girls at slumber parties with my mad ouija skills
been in this anchorite cell for a million moons rejecting self for something that lasts longer
sex was a bad dream i had when i still believed in jesus and luckenbach weddings
but then i woke up when you saw me and said something about it
oh my god baby are you serious i am not a monster at all but if i am so are you
and matching has never felt better
so yes i will sing you to sleep any night of the week
sing to you until you cry until we both die and come back as aquarius man aries woman
just to switch it up keep shit lively and fresh better than any american soap opera
what are we selling
certainly not our souls
which don't actually exist you say
but actually sweetheart they absolutely do
because my brain stopped working when i blocked you at gmail
stayed broken even when i unblocked you and bought every supplement you recommended
but my soul stayed in the game and steered the wheel as my quivering cunt screamed directions
and here we goddamn finally are
the cool cerebral minimal post apocalypse models elegant and exhausted at the five star bar
a hurricane teasing every window
 

AWARD WINNING CUCUMBER

 I.

no water like rainwater when rainwater is fred rainwater texan taurus
tearing shit up at carnival in seymour, texas because a group of men
called out lewd suggestions as he walked past with his hot pregnant wife
and first daughter the february born aquarian who first ran away
from home on red tricycle with kiss magazines in 1977
rocks were thrown glass was broken then much ass kicking ensued
oh daddy daddy daddy how can i ever find a man to rival you

and then one day finally i sure enough did
all you need is the moon and mercury
pluto is a motherfucking bonus
saturn seals the goddamn deal
fuck me harder again again again
mars conjunct sun mercury conjunct mercury moon square moon
we can go deeper if you want
we can be here a while
no baby all you need to know is yes i did and yes i have and yes i will
without apology without wringing of hands without equivocation

to know him is to adore him to hell and back
so sick with love i sing brand new key karaoke
i bubble wrap breakable things and place in boxes
i buy a ticket i take the ride become a wartime bride with trashy tattoos
and astral projection thundercloud bruises on inner thighs

never was a size queen but goddamn i said goddamn
never was good at math but looks like thirteen inches of coke can 
porn star cock rock star tear up the hotel room throw tv out the window
no sleep till brooklyn lollapalooza monterey pop nirvana mtv acoustic
this dance ain't for everybody only the sexy people
outta the friend zone and into the frying pan
"I'll make you wish there was 48 hours to each day" (chaka khan, aries)
"Grab ya glocks when you see Tupac" (tupac shakur, aries moon)

this is just to say i am fiercely discombobulated
this is just to say i am deeply retarded
this is just to say daddy (fred rainwater) you have been dethroned
at last at last thank god at last

II. 

myspace was too goddamn crowded with poets, editors, models
drinking bottom shelf wine i was terrible mother seeking fresh thrill
couldn't find the gold for all the roadkill and solo cups
did not recognize aries sun gemini moon capricorn rising daddy
by daddy meaning dada meaning best friend forever meaning
best lover of life future until muerte husband drill sergeant life coach 
"what would you have done if i had sent you a dic pic?" (he asks)
" i would have said FEED ME" (she replies without hesitation)

this is just to say i am fed but this is only genesis
this is aquarius woman meeting aries man in primordial garden
or is it primeval it's primitive it's primal it's optimus prime
a red and blue semi-truck energon sword wielding hero
defeating the decepticons like a motherfucking goat

fed yes hell yes i am but the best is yet to come (def leppard)
where do we go now? (guns n' roses)
onward to paradise where the scylla and charybdis is no mas
and christians are fed to the lions regurgitated then fed again
and witches roam free dripping pussy juice for all eternity which is five minutes 
which is a century which is my head in daddy's lap as he reads
the lonely doll in his richard burton fuck me long time voice
i have no choice but to acquiesce
lovingly
completely
for i am wholly his

III.

this is not san francisco thank christ this is not city lights
this is not open mic poetry night in kerouac alley
and this is not santa cruz bowling alley karaoke
"what's your problem?" (security guard)
"i am from texas" (me, soaked from pitcher of sprite i poured over my head)
"cutting you off, give someone else a turn" (deejay)

what is this? (faith no more)
i want it i want it i want it
need it need it need it
love it love it love it
with a rebel yell (billy idol)
harder deeper with feeling with beethoven with the stars at noon spinning
winning bigger and much dirtier than charlie sheen (virgo)

it's 1979 and she's a girl who believes in john travolta as tony manero
it's 1983 and she tells herself she's on camera and ricky schroeder 
from "silver spoons" can see her as she turns in homework assignment
in her purple tights and mini skirt every inch the snow bright virgin
it's 2023 and she thinks she sees him in kansas city
but no he already has a bitch (aries) and he's sagittarius
he ain't the one to try for

"honey don't you fret 'cause you ain't seen nothing yet"
(saturn/belushi the first decan aquarian on snl)

i saw the best cock of my or any other generation
in pisces season 2026
ding ding ding
we have
a winner
because of all that came before
and all that will come after
holy laughter holy cum thrum of all thrums
dumb with yum licking batter from the spoon
sucking thumb for dream dada
realized
concretized
immortalized
for the numb alive
for the tragically dead
for any conceivable eternal
demonic angelic audience

this is for
the archives     

oarfish answer

Here's another for Misti Rainwater, whose name I shall soon take in marriage.

Also massive thanks to my number two planet Pluto, who did us both proud in the sexuality department synastry. 

 

  

TSUNAMI

 

this planet is populated with people who call themselves poets
and none of them i am certain want to read another squirting poem
by a texan crone who doesn't know billy collins from gary snyder
so this is for us and any future angelic retards who delight in the ineffable
and awkward attempts to spray paint the numinous all over american asphalt
look over here come see come see david + misti = fucking and besos and magic
until the last wave crashes the last beach blanket bingo fiesta

donde esta su corazon? mine is wherever i am and when i am with my man
it's aglow with a million ponyfish and "rockin' back inside my heart" burns on the jukebox
our fuckscape is cool cerulean and hot pink and i don't think there's room for anyone but us
in this super secret pirate cove decorated with the skulls of our enemies and tiger beat posters

it's wet it's wild it's unlikely bottles of champagne will pop no toast will be made
but i know the stinging secrets of saturn and the promises of pluto
goddamn it feels good to be a gangsta
holding back and doing without having none conserving saving building and then
the glittering crashing fury of a wave train coming coming coming 
and nothing and no one not even the monkey god of the coconut palm
can stop it

made of sunset

Another one for Kitten because she was napping & this created a loose end for a few minutes

 

 

 

"crushed cunt"

Another for kitten Misti Rainwater, of whom I am very proud. Taking her name when we marry & then we're fucking off to Mexico.

  

 

 

"we tear night"

 Latest for Misti

 

 

two of cups ain't a myth

 

okay yes full fucking disclosure for a long time i believed
even though i had no reason to believe oh i did i believed with all my 
venus in aquarius sextile chiron in aries heart that someday he would find me
and we would be like heloise and abelard, sid and nancy, bogie and bacall, rhett and scarlett
todd and elizabeth from sweet valley high, randy and julie from "valley girl"
i would walk into the bowling alley on a saturday night in april
"just what i needed" by the cars blaring from every speaker
and he would stand there swigging his basic bottle of beer
watching me from a distance like a wolf
until he closed in, offered to buy me a cherry coke
six months later there would be a tiered wedding cake and a deejay
maybe a fiji honeymoon and a house in colorado

fucking hell i was disappointed so disappointed i wanted to die
where are you? save me! save me! i am surrounded by limp dick cowboys
and men who belch while rooting for the patriots or ravens
the whole thing is a joke and it isn't funny
thank jesus for vibrators and mcdonald's free wifi
love is two of solo cups and the radio is such trash
eddie money followed by tom petty followed by bonnie raitt
get me the fuck out of here goddamn goddamn am i even alive

and then two of solo cups became two of bone china tea cups
because of an email about the crumbling of an empire
and a list of supplements and a photograph of a bed covered with stuffed animals
eighteen years melting like pink cotton candy on my tongue
fuck me i want to be twelve again sixteen again twenty again 
all of life before me like a goddamn disney pixar movie
and this time i know better because he loves me and i am snow
and he loves me and i am gold
and we're better than brad and lisa at all-american burger
and we get a happier ending than tommy and carrie
or mr. big and carrie because fuck that franchise

carve it in stone write it with quill and ink on parchment
then set it on fire or roll it up put it in a glass bottle send it out to sea
this is for the record this is for the archives
yes bitches yes motherfuckers
a girl from texas grew into a woman who finally got it right
an aquarian with virgo rising and more issues than playboy finally found her match
only took 53 years but time isn't real it's a construct
so bueno and gracias
mercury moon saturn sun mars santa jesus elvis shakespeare cupid
etcetera