two of cups ain't a myth

 

okay yes full fucking disclosure for a long time i believed
even though i had no reason to believe oh i did i believed with all my 
venus in aquarius sextile chiron in aries heart that someday he would find me
and we would be like heloise and abelard, sid and nancy, bogie and bacall, rhett and scarlett
todd and elizabeth from sweet valley high, randy and julie from "valley girl"
i would walk into the bowling alley on a saturday night in april
"just what i needed" by the cars blaring from every speaker
and he would stand there swigging his basic bottle of beer
watching me from a distance like a wolf
until he closed in, offered to buy me a cherry coke
six months later there would be a tiered wedding cake and a deejay
maybe a fiji honeymoon and a house in colorado

fucking hell i was disappointed so disappointed i wanted to die
where are you? save me! save me! i am surrounded by limp dick cowboys
and men who belch while rooting for the patriots or ravens
the whole thing is a joke and it isn't funny
thank jesus for vibrators and mcdonald's free wifi
love is two of solo cups and the radio is such trash
eddie money followed by tom petty followed by bonnie raitt
get me the fuck out of here goddamn goddamn am i even alive

and then two of solo cups became two of bone china tea cups
because of an email about the crumbling of an empire
and a list of supplements and a photograph of a bed covered with stuffed animals
eighteen years melting like pink cotton candy on my tongue
fuck me i want to be twelve again sixteen again twenty again 
all of life before me like a goddamn disney pixar movie
and this time i know better because he loves me and i am snow
and he loves me and i am gold
and we're better than brad and lisa at all-american burger
and we get a happier ending than tommy and carrie
or mr. big and carrie because fuck that franchise

carve it in stone write it with quill and ink on parchment
then set it on fire or roll it up put it in a glass bottle send it out to sea
this is for the record this is for the archives
yes bitches yes motherfuckers
a girl from texas grew into a woman who finally got it right
an aquarian with virgo rising and more issues than playboy finally found her match
only took 53 years but time isn't real it's a construct
so bueno and gracias
mercury moon saturn sun mars santa jesus elvis shakespeare cupid
etcetera