SQUIRTING AMERICAN STYLE

Sally enjoyed nothing more than Nutella from the jar for breakfast, washed down with Jack Daniels from the bottle. Sally lived in San Antonio, Texas where the tacos are sloppy and the men are sloppier. The dogs bark ceaselessly. Motherfuckers drive like bats out of hell with one hand on the wheel and the other on the cock and/or cunt. 

Cougar, Sally's husband of sixteen years, worked for some kind of plumbing company. He put in tedious hours filing paperwork and cleaning the lone shit splattered toilet in the office. When Cougar came home from work all he wanted to do was drink cans of Busch and watch wrestling on the Costco television that dominated the den of the double wide trailer. 

"Cougar...we haven't fucked in a million years," Sally said.
"That's an exaggeration. You gave me a blow job two months ago," Cougar said.
"I want a divorce."
"Nope."

There he was again, popping up in the Instagram DMs. The bloke from Manchester wanted to know what Sally thought about Trump sending troops to the moon.

"It's always something political with you," Sally typed into the chat.
"I'm making polite conversation. I don't want you to think I'm horny for you. I know you're married," Percy typed.
"I'm getting a divorce."
"Why?"
"Sex. Not enough sex."
"I see. I quite enjoy sex. I do find you sexually appealing. I look at your pictures and watch your reels. I imagine things."
"What kind of things do you imagine?"
"First. Before we go any further. Do you have a vibrator?"
"I have five."
"Perfect. Grab your favorite."
"Got it."
"Are you naked in bed?"
"Yes."
"Send pics. Here's my cock."
"Oh. My. God. Do you have a license to carry that thing?"
"Larger than what you're accustomed to, I imagine? American men are notorious for having micro dicks."
"Yeah. My husband's dick is about six inches. Are you twelve?"
"Not quite. Eleven. But long enough and plenty thick, right?"
"Yeah. I'm so scared I'm tingling. My pussy hasn't been this wet since 2011."
"I won't ask what happened in 2011."

The thing was done and Sally was shivering in bed, worried she had wet the bed. A native Texan, Sally had never squirted. But now she had squirted during an Instagram chat and she knew life would never be the same. What would Jesus think?